Monday, 7 February 2011

Working my nuts off

Went to the gym during last week - had to, really.  The diet's not going too well!!  Didn't realise that nuts weren't actually that good for you in large quantities.  Got a bit confused, then got carried away with the healthy snacks - I thought that you could eat as much as you wanted if the stuff was healthy.  How wrong was I?  I had a bag of cashew nuts, then my partner told me that they were so high in fat that I'd done myself no favours whatsoever.  Bollocks.  Anyway, off I went .....

Spotted a strange man immediately, standing by the windows overlooking the swimming pool.  I wouldn't normally take much notice, except that he was rubbing his nipples and rolling his tongue around his lips and making love-grunt noises, which I find hard to believe in a public place, and with so many children present, but hey, that's just me.  This carried on for a few minutes, and then he turned round and clocked the look on my face, then just strolled off as though nothing had happened.  I like to think he knew the people in the pool, and was trying to make them laugh, however .... you decide.

Did 11.5km on the exercise bike on effort level 2 (pretty cool of me, I think), and then surpassed myself on the arm bike - I did 5km on effort level 1 and 2 combined (my girlie arms can't do effort level 2 for too long, but God loves a trier).  I then went on the treadmill for 10 minutes to loosen my bad foot up, then got a new lease of life, and practically skipped back to the changing rooms feeling very very pleased with myself.  Not as tired as I thought I would be - that would be the nut effect, methinks!!

Got back into the changing rooms, to be met with a bit of a sight - water on the floor and on the benches, so nowhere to sit while I got changed out of my sweaty togs, or to change my trainers.  Not because of any flood, you understand - just the fact that people who go into the swimming pool and/or have showers there can't seem to dry themselves off before they go back into the changing area, or else they're sweating even more than me (unlikely!).  Anyway, when it gets to that stage, it's pretty disgusting, and you're not sure if you're sitting in water or wee, do you?  I decided to play safe and go into one of the toilets to change (thought it would be safer and probably more hygienic in the end).  Not so.  Someone had obviously hit on that notion before me - the toilets were worse than the benches in the changing area - water even in the lavatory cubicle, which was filthy, because people had gone in there in their trainers and the dirt from them had mingled with the water, to produce mucky water (yum, my favourite), and again, hadn't bothered to clean up after themselves.

Oh, to top all that off, there was a puddle of yellow wee-like liquid on the floor outside of the cubicles.  I didn't want to examine it too closely, in case someone had done the dirty deed in public (you know what these naturists are like), so I just scuttled into the cleanest lavatory cubicle and got changed asap, as safely and hygienically as I could.  No easy task.  On the way out of the bogs, I noticed a young boy wandering about with a small bottle of apple juice, which may explain the yellow puddle.  Either that, or it was wee, as I suspected, and he was merely gathering a sample for the doctor - who knows?

Was quite relieved to leave the premises after all that, but as I was walking across the car park to meet my partner (lovely chauffeur chappie - be lost without his driving skills), there was a man standing in the window perving on a woman with 3 kids, eyeing up her backside, and she was completely oblivious to it.  My partner spotted him straight away and eyeballed him.  Suddenly the man looked straight at my chap, saw that he had witnessed this interchange, then walked away.  I'm not sure whether to be upset or relieved, 'cos no one does that to me.....

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